Know Your Ranks – The Royal Air Force

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water, gives policy to GOD.

A WING COMMANDER.

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind,
Is almost as powerful as a bulldozer,
Is faster than a speeding .22 slug,
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
Talks with GOD if special request is approved.

A FLIGHT LIEUTENANT.

Makes high scratch marks when trying to leap short buildings,
Is run over by locomotives,
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury,
Dog paddles,
Talks to animals.

A PILOT OFFICER.

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings,
Says “Look at the Choo Choo”,
Is not issued with a gun,
Plays in mud puddles,
Mumbles to himself.

A GROUP CAPTAIN.

Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a bulldozer,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if the sea is calm.

A SQUADRON LEADER.

Barely clears Nissen Huts,
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
Swims well,
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.

A FLYING OFFICER.

Runs into buildings,
Recognises a locomotive two out of three times,
Has a gun but is not issued with ammunition,
Can stay afloat with proper instruction,
Talks to walls.

A NON COMMISSIONED OFFICER.

Lifts buildings and walks under them,
Kicks locomotives off the track,
Catches speeding bullets between teeth and eats them,
Freezes water with a single glance,
He is GOD.